


How to not be an awkward parent

by LordCorale (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brothers, Dirk being an unawkward parent, This was funnier in my head, cute little Dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 05:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LordCorale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Where does baby come from?”</p><p>What do you do when your children ask you that? They definitely too young to handle the true so you have to lie and it also need to be believable, not some fucking random bird carrying the baby.</p><p>This is how Dirk explained it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to not be an awkward parent

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to get out of my confort zone and right something light rated and cute. But i'm not the funny type of person.

Dave has been quiet since you picked him up from the kindergarten so you have to ask “What’s up, little bro?”

“My friend… his mother has a big and round belly. I asked her if she were sick but she said she had a baby” He crosses his arm as he looks at the street instead of you. Though he had his poker face on, you could hear his anger from his tone.

“And?” if he asked for a baby brother, you would have to decline. Dave is already a handful.

“She walked away before I could ask why” So that what pissed him off.

“So basically you want to know where baby come from”

“Yeah”

You stop the car at the front of your apartment “Listen here little man” time to get your serious on.

“It is a women thing”

“Wait. Why can’t boys have it?” Dave interrupted.

“Like I said, it is a women thing. They have it whenever they want”

“That means I can’t just ask them to?” 

“Absolutely not. It is rude to force it on them. It only happens if a woman and a man love each other enough and they decide to have children”

“What if the guy doesn’t want to? I like girls but I don’t want babies” 

“Then they won’t have a baby, duh. But IF they both want to, she will start to eat a lot, so fucking fast that only her belly grows big and from it form a baby” you said it fast and ended it quick because you can’t stand another cut in.

“That means my arm could have been a hamburger or maybe my hair was fries. Is that why I’m blond?” Dave excitedly asked.

“Yup” you agree flatly. Saying no would just drag out the story and you just didn’t have the energy to give a fuck anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> If this turns multi chapters, i'll make sure the next one it will be better and each chapters can be read separately.


End file.
